I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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