We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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