forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
