i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
