All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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