If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
