he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
