I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
