Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize