My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
