All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
