he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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