Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
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he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm like, not good at living.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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