I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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