I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
