I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
