He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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