He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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