like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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