I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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