Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
