Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
