her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
