you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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