On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.