I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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