i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
