She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is Oprah even human
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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