Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
