I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
