I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
