So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
