Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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