Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
