We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
