he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
