i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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