Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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