I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
