This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
