She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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