btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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