you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Randomize
