I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize