The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
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I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
false alarm, still single
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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