so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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