Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
