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So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Operation Purity has been aborted
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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