I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
