Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
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Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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