I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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