I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
