You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
