You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
