so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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