I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
