If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize