The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My life is pants optional.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
